Loss

As we moonlit twirled in star-crossed happenstance,

The love we grew fell imbalanced, our luck ran out, what were the chances?

We learned the right steps but to different dances.

We fell in, you fell out, I fell down,

As we bloodmoon howled in anguish's end.

I loved that your love was a matter of fact,

I just hate how our hate filled its cracks,

And I know you know I didn’t say all I wanted,

Or how when I left you’d leave me haunted,

And I know I didn’t tell you all I should’ve said,

But the pain is too painful to sleep in our bed,

What I lost isn’t lost on me, you can be sure of that,

But I dream of the dreams where you come back,

And I know I didn’t do what could’ve been done,

And I know that I ran but the tears still run,

And I hoped for hope but now there’s none,

But my biggest mistake was losing the one.

Blur our way through the night, in darkest dreams there’s the truest light.

Your red glow, green lights, and blue dreams; my prism of life.

A dark heart’s love spark, a twisted soul’s idol, we were both broken but our pieces seemed fine.

Caught in its grip, in its lovelorn fights, lifelong love with its end in sight.

As the threads unraveled and we came loose, our love-woven necklace became our noose.

As we lay awake in our bed of cries, the silence spoke volumes as our once melded heart divides.

The credits rolled and we had reached the end, we clung onto hope because we were once friends.

Amidst our impassioned screams of disbelief, the love we gave, the promises we made - and you, my love, began to fade.

My maladies and their tragedies far too severe for our love to survive; your broken pieces and quiet resentment made it so we could not be revived.

Forever ended in a single night, but your echo remains - our broken love is eternally ingrained.

I left you there, but with me you stay, it kills me to know you were the one that got away.

Take me back to before I knew, all the parts of me I’d give to you.

All of the memories without the bereft, take me back to before you left.

Our time was fleeting like our chance meeting, but it keeps repeating; even gone you’re unyielding.

I wish you’d come home, we’d be again one day, you said forever but fate got in the way.

What you didn’t say, everything I didn’t get to,

All of me died with the loss of you.

I’m not trying to run, and yet you chase, you’ll do anything but accept the consequences you face.

In the liminal spaces of broken homes, you’re my long-distance suffering and my trauma of old.

You were once my father but never my dad. My silence is your fate. I’m the one thing you’ll never have.

You know what you did. That’s all you’ll ever be: my abuser and tormenter can’t stand that I’m free.

My smile is brighter when I forget you exist.

My life is better when you aren’t in it.